I was just starting to feel attractive again, seven weeks after giving birth to my son.  Today I put on an outfit that I thought was slimming and headed out to the fabric store.  I told the young man measuring out my fabric that I was going to make a baby sling.

“So, how many?” he asked, smiling interestedly.

“One and a half yards,” I replied.

“No, how many?” he asked again.

“Baby slings?” I asked confusedly.  ”One.”

“No, I mean, how many?” and he patted his tummy several times to indicate he was asking me how many babies I was pregnant with.

Trying not to blush, I told him I’d already HAD a baby seven weeks ago.  He did blush (as well he might) and tried frantically to change the subject.  It was painfully awkward for both of us.  Not only had he thought I was pregnant, he thought I was having multiples!

I consoled myself with a chocolate bar and thoughts of lying in wait for him with a baseball bat after his shift ended.

Rachel – NH

I work as a cashier at a local groccery store. I was in charge of the self check out one day and I had noticed the customer at one of the machines was looking at me with an odd expression. I asked if there was anything I could help her with and the words “How far along are you sweetie?” slipped out of her mouth. This was literally a moment I have been waiting for because I have always wanted that moment of awkardness that I could continue to laugh about the rest of my life. Without missing a beat I looked her in the eye and said “Oh honey, I’m just fat.” She gasped instantly and started frantically appologizing. my co-workers and I laughed about it for the longest time.

Nicole – somewhere

Years ago, I was with my dad at a banquet. We were talking to a mom of one of my friends. I was thoroughly enjoying the conversation until my dad asked a question that one should never ask a woman unless he is already aware of her condition. He said, “When are you due? I didn’t know you were expecting!”
My friend’s mom kindly replied, “I’m not.”

Emily –  Los Angeles, CA